AFC Mission statement - comments moved

[joy]

Hey, Stewie, the mission statement is good! I don't understand one thing, though....what do you mean by "All posters MUST remember that SUPPORT is the core of this forum, NOT politics." Not politics? Adoption = politics. Or do you mean not bringing personal issues people (in the community) have with each other into the forum....such as infighting? Need some clarification here!

Thanks

Ok giving this a shot, first, valid question, if I can answer well, hmmm that is another question



I agree that adoption has a lot to do with politics, but not entirely, what we are most concerned with is adoptee well-being.


As I see it there are two different sides to adoptees, outside of politics, you know if you are anti or pro or reform or just trying to get through the day man (like myself)  there is the very personal experience of each adoptee in their unique experience.

That is the need/lack that this forum is trying to fill.

So while most of us here, are pretty aware of our issues, we are very new, as time goes on we will want to reach out more to the adoptee who is still trying to manage this on their own.   They may come heavy in the fog, and we just don't want people to have the impression that we need to make adoptees who feel differently than we do, to assimilate, for the love of god, we know how that sucks, so for example


You know when I was first on line and trying to find out how/where what who resonated with me, I had some lame ass experiences with people who were too caught up in forcing their views down my throat, and fussing over words.  We just don't want this to become a place like that.


I mean there really is no help out there for the adoptee, except the fellow adoptee, we want to promote the well-being of the individual more than we want to take a stance, I don't feel like I am being clear here, sorry, just trying.

If a person comes in and is very pro adoption or whatever and says they are looking for their mother, we just support them in that, and respect them for where they are, take them at their word, you know?

Tell me if that doesn't make sense.

I haven't slept much.

[Stewie]

Hey michelle, I made your question a separate thread as we meant to lock the mission statemtent threads.  Joy has answered your post - rockingly, i might add - but I will too...

what do you mean by "All posters MUST remember that SUPPORT is the core of this forum, NOT politics." Not politics? Adoption = politics.

Joy is right, our main goal here is to be a support network, not a political one. Sure, many of us here are heavily involved in adoption issues and reform, but our vision for this particular forum - at its core- is to be a place of support, not political debate. Sure, we'll have boards for that, but we don't want this to be a polarized place. This is MAINLY for support.

Many many adoptees don't see the politics behind adoption and are working on their needs FIRST. We're all at different stages, and we want to be here for the just-starting-out adoptees.

Adoptin may = politics, but here adoption is personal, it is part of one's life experience, and the support for those going through their personal issues is one we find lacking and hope to create here at AFC.

Hope our posts have answered your question....

[Michelle]

Okay, I understand your point now. Thanks.

For me (as an adoptee) it wasn't until I understood the politics behind adoption that I was able to figure out that I did need support (in a big way). I had always internalized adoption...i.e. it was about me, and that kept me kind of locked in my own issues. I still struggle with adoption issues, though, and still need support.

But when an adoptee is first waking up, I guess the bulldozer approach may be a bit overwhelming. it worked for me -- but that's me! I needed the truth drilled into my brain (many times) before I was able to see past my own issues and look at adoption in a broader context.

I don't agree with admonishing an adoptee who has their own POV and is seeking advice/support. We have three adoptees here in Ontario that are suing the Ontario government because it did not include a disclosure veto (the right to anonymity if an adoptee or mother wants it) in the new legislation: The Adoption Disclosure Act 2005 (which will unseal adoption records for moms and adoptees in September 2007....party time!), so I am used to strong opposition from adoptees.

It would be good to have a separate category for adoption legslation for people to discuss. I think, anyway. Thanks for clarifying and I do agree.