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Concerns

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antiadoption
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« on: April 19, 2007, 05:18:31 pm »
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Since I am all about being open, honest and straightforward, I want to share with everyone the email that I received from Addie Pray, administrator.  Apparently, there are concerns about me...maybe because I caused a ruckus at SofA??? 

I certainly do not want to be a burden, and I will leave if I make people uncomfortable.  I don't want any kind of access to private boards.  I believe in privacy of others for sure.

The reason I joined in the first place is because I am interested in listening to the point of view of adopted people.  I have been friends with Gershom for a long time, and I think she can tell you that I am sincere.  I just have not been active on any adoption boards for a long time.  I have been on some political message boards, and I always stand up for adoptee rights online and in real life.  I have influenced many people and prevented a number of adoptions.

Anyway, I am a little stunned at the email, but I will gladly make a polite exit if it will make the rest of you more comfortable.

The email I received is below...

Cheers,
antiadoption

Access to private forums
« Sent to: antiadoption on: Today at 05:05:55 pm »

Some concerns have been brought to the team at ACF concerning your access to private boards, your access has been suspended for now.

We hope that you stay with us, but we are not connected with Soul Of Adoption, and wish to leave any bad feelings in the past.

The nature of many things posted here by adoptees, and those with a direct connection with adoption, are very private and emotional,  we want them to feel secure here.  Their lives have been directly impacted by adoption.  If you would let them know how adoption has impacted your life, it would go a long way to making everyone feel more secure.  If you don't feel you can do this on the boards, please let us know, so we can more understand your interest.

Addie Pray
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Marsha
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« Reply #1 on: April 19, 2007, 05:36:51 pm »

I know you and I have different views on some things regarding adoption (though I bet we have more in common than not) but I don't want you to leave. I think you and I have gotten along pretty well and though I don't know you yet I'd like to. Any friend of Gershom must be okay, right? I'm not on any private boards either that I know of, so I don't know anything about any of that.
I actually expected to be the one getting that email. 'shrug
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Addie Pray
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« Reply #2 on: April 19, 2007, 05:39:14 pm »

We never asked you to leave, as I restated in the second PM that I sent you.  I will not make it public, as it is not the way things are done here, but if you wish to, feel free.

These concerns were not all my own.  I think my PM states our concerns clearly.

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dory
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« Reply #3 on: April 19, 2007, 05:42:40 pm »

Yes, I would have to agree. Not only were you not asked to leave - it was stated that we hope you stay. The original PM also states that we would like to leave any bad feelings about Soul Of Adoption at the door. They have their place, we have ours. We are here to listen to and support adoptees.

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« Reply #4 on: April 19, 2007, 06:53:07 pm »

NOBODY said we wanted you to leave. 

We're simply wondering why somebody with no ties to adoption would have such a strong interest in it.  And we also feel that the private adoptee thoughts should be just between adoptees.  It's great that you are for our "cause" but when we decided to limit your access to private boards, it was simply to protect the privacy of the adoptees on the forum who wish to keep their private thoughts and posts as just that...private and between other adoptees.  We've had enough bullshit from the non-adoptee crowd and we created this site SPECIFICALLY to have a place where we can share our innermost thoughts and feelings in private...without having to deal with comments or criticism from the "outside".  Not that you were doing that, but if you are not an adoptee, then there is no reason for you to have access to the private adoptee forum.  I think that makes pretty perfect sense and if you can't understand that, then perhaps you really are here for the wrong reasons.

We are here to support each other, NOT to bash Sofa or any other member of the triad, unless we feel like bashing our own families, but we are not here to berate anyone else.

No if you feel you want to leave, that's your perogative.  But this is your decision and not the decision of the admin team, and I want to make that perfectly clear.

I'll give you a few days to decide if you want to stay; if you haven't posted, then your account will be deleted as YOU requested. 

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« Reply #5 on: April 20, 2007, 11:29:06 am »

(((((Krista))))) you'll always be my friend too!!! it was good catching up with you, you know my email! USE IT! i'll check out your group. I love you!!!  Smiley
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« Reply #6 on: April 20, 2007, 11:57:58 am »

Antiadoption - THANK YOU very much for your honesty and for sharing with us some of the personal side of you- we SO appreciate that here.  I hope you can understand why some of us were uncomfortable and asked for a deeper explanation.

In no way did we want you to feel hurt and unwanted - and I personally appreciate your graciousness in handling the administrators' questions of you in your latest post.

I wish you well in the future and am glad you have great friends like Gersh and Julie who i have also come to know as fabulous, strong women.
 Smiley
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Addie Pray
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« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2007, 01:08:00 pm »

Thank You.

I do wish things had gone better with you here.

I do understand the stresses of caring for aging parents, it can strain you beyond all that you ever thought possible.  Please try to find some time to take care of yourself, I know how hard that can be, but please try.

Again, Thank You.

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Lindsay
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« Reply #8 on: April 21, 2007, 11:35:57 pm »

Hi all  Smiley

Are y'all cool with me being here, or would you rather I wasn't?
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« Reply #9 on: April 22, 2007, 12:55:57 am »

Krista

So long since hearing from you, so briefly in passing. You have been a rock for so many and proven that there is no triad, just many people affected by adoption, and you dont have to be connected to understand! You are proficiently verbal, willilng to call out those who need it, and take back if wrong....sim[ply put you are fabulous. But the reson you leave is the reason I have been away so much, there is only so much energy you have for everyone and good family will always come first! I may come visit as I have truly missed your style 

Love ya

Gabby
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« Reply #10 on: April 22, 2007, 01:05:28 am »

Lindsay - absolutely (I say!!!!).
If you read the mission statement and remain supportive at all times to adoptees (as above all that is what Joy/Addie/Lillie/Stewie are trying to maintain) - then I think it's totally cool that you are here.
I see it as a forum to support all adoptees - whatever stage they are at - and all that wish to join in to achieve that - welcome to the party!!
 

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Poss. xx
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« Reply #11 on: April 22, 2007, 03:51:45 am »

Hi all  Smiley

Are y'all cool with me being here, or would you rather I wasn't?


I am guessing this question comes from some kind of computer glitch.


Sorry Lindsay, if we are n00bs, but we are learning.


As long as you don't ask us to start thinking about this from your point of view, that is all we really ask of members, to remember that this is about OUR point of view. Of course you are welcome.

Sorry you have felt otherwise.


WELCOME

 Smiley
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Lindsay
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« Reply #12 on: April 22, 2007, 10:53:18 am »

Hi Joy,

I didn't feel unwelcome at all, you guys are greatand I actually felt very welcome Smiley  I just wanted to make sure I wasn't intruding on y'all.  That was the only reason I asked Smiley
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