BTW Isn't it weird how people say "how wonderful" when you tell them you're adopted? That happens to me too. I think my new response to that is going to be, "Yeah, it's AMAZING."
No kidding!!!!! Or, what I've been noticing a lot lately is how when someone tells you they adopted, or friends of theirs adopted, or whatever - there is always a pause afterwards. Like that's my cue to say "how wonderful" - they are usually met with a blank stare from me - which obviously makes them uncomfortable because they're so used to hearing "that's wonderful" - blech.
Go Sarah - three cheers for you in your ability to talk with them about this. Maybe even give them a book written by an adoptee. But yes, I agree that your presence in this girls life will have a great impact on her so you don't want to lose that.