Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change
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Movie: Dead Letter Office

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Michelle
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« on: April 27, 2007, 10:04:31 pm »

A good movie for adoptees (and moms/dads) is Dead Letter Office (Australia). Anybody see it?

About a woman (maybe late twenties) who is searchng for her father (never see or hear about mom). The last time she was with her father was when she was about two....she has a picture of him holding her, but his face is turned away from the camera.

She sends letters for like 20 years to any address she thinks might be good. Sometimes she just addresses it: To: My Father. Undeliverable letters, she later learns, end up in the Dead Letter Office, a branch of the post office that tries to find the recipients. She gets a job at the Dead letter Office.

(Anyone ever want to get a job in the government just to get a peek at your files/birth certificate?)

The movie is not about adoption, but about losing one's parent and how impossible it is to ever rest until that parent is found and the mystery solved.
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gabbymoggy
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« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2007, 10:12:23 pm »

Michelle

Funnily enough I had a job which worked with the records...but I had already had a copy of my birth certificate at that stage, but I know someone else who I worked with accidentally found out that the friends of her parents who they spent a lot of time with had actually adopted her older sister (who she didnt know existed) but as it is part of your job that you cannot pass on anything you learn in the job it is quite weird.

My amum also worked with the records, before it became legal for adoptees to get copies of their birth certificates, I always wonder if she would have told me what my mothers name was if the law hadnt been changed...She has been quite supportive of the whole search/reunion and has more patience about my mother than I do.

I think I will have to watch this movie it so grates me that people think that adoptees should just be grateful and yet if anyone else is searching for a parent, it's sad and heart warming?
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Michelle
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« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2007, 06:36:23 am »

I agree that perception is warped when adoptees search. Most people I know/knew when I was searching were supportive. These were people who had nothing to do with adoption. My co-workers and friends. I didn't actually know any adoptees when I searched!

A friend of mine who was rasied with her mother (father was long gone...she never knew him) wanted to find him. She had her whole family against her for wanting to find the man....they hated him and couldn't understand why she would want to know someone who was never there for her. She found him and was able to hear his side of the story, but like many of us, the words were a bit too late, and although she was happy to finally see him and talk to him, the anger from not having him in her life came at her full force. I don't think it's just adoptees who are judged and critisized for wanting to know our poeple and past.....just different agendas based on the various players involved (and of course we have a law against as as well).
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SoloZolo
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« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2007, 09:00:29 pm »

I agree that perception is warped when adoptees search. Most people I know/knew when I was searching were supportive. These were people who had nothing to do with adoption. My co-workers and friends. I didn't actually know any adoptees when I searched!

A friend of mine who was rasied with her mother (father was long gone...she never knew him) wanted to find him. She had her whole family against her for wanting to find the man....they hated him and couldn't understand why she would want to know someone who was never there for her. She found him and was able to hear his side of the story, but like many of us, the words were a bit too late, and although she was happy to finally see him and talk to him, the anger from not having him in her life came at her full force. I don't think it's just adoptees who are judged and critisized for wanting to know our poeple and past.....just different agendas based on the various players involved (and of course we have a law against as as well).

Yeah, people only get criticized when they are searching for bad people.  Like assholes.  And natural mothers.   
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Michelle
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« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2007, 09:05:19 pm »

How interesting it is though, SoloZolo, when opposition turns adoptees into the bad people when it comes to unsealing records.... all of a sudden it is the mother who needs protection from us.
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SoloZolo
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« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2007, 09:45:12 pm »

How interesting it is though, SoloZolo, when opposition turns adoptees into the bad people when it comes to unsealing records.... all of a sudden it is the mother who needs protection from us.

Oh yes, The Trauma, visiting itself upon the victim.  *sigh*  Like Bob Marley's ghost.
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Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
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