Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change
March 28, 2024, 05:39:19 am
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
News: IMPORTANT AND EXCITING NEWS!!!STAY TUNED...
 
  Home Help Search Gallery Links Staff List Login Register  

Another moronic comment about my adoption

Pages: [1] 2   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: Another moronic comment about my adoption  (Read 547 times)
Stewie
Pirate Bastard
Administrator
Hero Member
*

Karma: 17
Offline Offline

Posts: 534



« on: April 27, 2007, 01:04:04 pm »

So my (a)mom stops by my office the other day to get something notarized and we run into one of the partners of the firm, I introduce.

(Its a small firm, we're all colleagues of one another, eat lunch frequently, so this guy and I are professionally 'close' or whatever..he knows I'm adopted, the whole fuckin firm knows    )

so I'm in the library justnow and he bops in to say hey! You and your mom look so much alike! Isn't that ironic! I mean, really, Ironic! You mustn've had no questions about anything growing up!"

I know where this is going, here comes smirky sarcasm face... me: "questions about WHAT?"  Grin

him: "you know, about who you looked like, you know, questions about being adopted. You must not have HAD any!"

me: "Yeah I NEVER had questions. You know, they did TELL me I was adopted. that's pretty much  the protocol"  Tongue

him: "Well, yeah, I guess that's what they do....they do that all the time?"

me: "UGH not ALL the time, but can you imagine how **** up it is NOT to tell?"  Grin Grin Grin

him: "Its just funny, you and your mom look so much alike.It worked out pretty well. They did a good job"  Undecided

 Azn

PEOPLE ARE MORONS. MORONS MORONS MORONS.  And SO not worth me wasting my breath on them.

T.G.I.F.
Report Spam   Logged

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter

Mia
Newbie
*

Karma: 5
Offline Offline

Posts: 10


« Reply #1 on: April 27, 2007, 02:11:41 pm »

I hear you Stewie. It is tiring walking away from conversations feeling like Huh?

Part of a comment I got today about why we should not have open records:

She may indeed have “gotten over it” through treatment or whatever, but that doesn’t mean she wants her cousins, parents, grandparents, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, aunts and uncles all contacted and asked about the trauma, just so one person can have more details about “who she is.”

Am I just way too sensitive or are there really THREE slams in just this one sentence? I hate when I let stuff like this get to me but man this hurt.

Hello, my name is The Trauma, nice to meet you Grin.
Report Spam   Logged
Stewie
Pirate Bastard
Administrator
Hero Member
*

Karma: 17
Offline Offline

Posts: 534



« Reply #2 on: April 27, 2007, 02:24:35 pm »

OUCH Mia.... should I go read your blog to figure out who said this?

Hugs to you...
Report Spam   Logged
SoloZolo
Hero Member
*

Karma: 28
Offline Offline

Posts: 494


Hacking up furballs on Connie Chung & Sharon Stone


WWW
« Reply #3 on: April 27, 2007, 03:03:51 pm »

So my (a)mom stops by my office the other day to get something notarized and we run into one of the partners of the firm, I introduce.

(Its a small firm, we're all colleagues of one another, eat lunch frequently, so this guy and I are professionally 'close' or whatever..he knows I'm adopted, the whole fuckin firm knows    )

so I'm in the library justnow and he bops in to say hey! You and your mom look so much alike! Isn't that ironic! I mean, really, Ironic! You mustn've had no questions about anything growing up!"

I know where this is going, here comes smirky sarcasm face... me: "questions about WHAT?"  Grin

him: "you know, about who you looked like, you know, questions about being adopted. You must not have HAD any!"

me: "Yeah I NEVER had questions. You know, they did TELL me I was adopted. that's pretty much  the protocol"  Tongue

him: "Well, yeah, I guess that's what they do....they do that all the time?"

me: "UGH not ALL the time, but can you imagine how **** up it is NOT to tell?"  Grin Grin Grin

him: "Its just funny, you and your mom look so much alike.It worked out pretty well. They did a good job"  Undecided

 Azn

PEOPLE ARE MORONS. MORONS MORONS MORONS.  And SO not worth me wasting my breath on them.

T.G.I.F.

Yes, Stewie.  Because I SURVIVED adoption and manage to keep my ongoing issues under control and because I am able to actually ACT like a human being (even though I don't feel like one), this somehow translates to "My aparents did a good job."  And because I look not too terribly different from my aparents, "It worked out pretty well."   
Report Spam   Logged

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Mia
Newbie
*

Karma: 5
Offline Offline

Posts: 10


« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2007, 04:12:45 pm »

Actually I don't really know the rules around here yet so I didn't want to post a name. I am still trying to figure out her connection. I get the sense she is an amom.

Like Julie said (I think that's you Julie?...HI! ) , it's really amazing how people grab onto exterior stuff as evidence of the rightness of adoption. It is so tiring to be judged all of the time. Constantly actually. We should be this, we should be that....ugh.

My neighbor was telling me yesterday how her husband (adopted) was basically a slave growing up. Then she said "but I guess he should be grateful he didn't have to to grow up with the alternative".  I told her nobody would EVER say that about a biological child. "gee the kid was abused but I guess it could have been worse. He should feel lucky". I think she had a lightbulb moment but who knows. I always feel like I am obligated to set people straight but like you, I am getting really tired of that and sometimes I don't feel like wasting my breath. It's like a constant uphill climb setting the record straight about what adoption is and what it is not.

I think I'll join you in that drink Stewie.
Report Spam   Logged
Theresa
Sr. Member
*

Karma: 18
Offline Offline

Posts: 228


I want my damn records


WWW
« Reply #5 on: April 27, 2007, 04:17:59 pm »

Oh ((((Mia)))) nastiness on your blog.

How icky. How self-righteous she is.
Report Spam   Logged

One cat leads to another.
Coco
Newbie
*

Karma: 3
Offline Offline

Posts: 9



« Reply #6 on: April 27, 2007, 04:38:12 pm »

Why on earth would he leap to the conclusion that you wouldn't have any questions about your bio family/being adopted/etc. because you resembled your amom in appearance?   Tongue

The two things aren't really connected. 

It's kind of like saying "How can you be bleeding internally? You look fine to me!"  Cry

People will insist on opening their mouths when the prudent thing to do is keep quiet. 

  for Stewie!
Report Spam   Logged
SoloZolo
Hero Member
*

Karma: 28
Offline Offline

Posts: 494


Hacking up furballs on Connie Chung & Sharon Stone


WWW
« Reply #7 on: April 27, 2007, 04:49:50 pm »

Quote
It's kind of like saying "How can you be bleeding internally? You look fine to me!"  Cry

BINGO.
Report Spam   Logged

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
SoloZolo
Hero Member
*

Karma: 28
Offline Offline

Posts: 494


Hacking up furballs on Connie Chung & Sharon Stone


WWW
« Reply #8 on: April 27, 2007, 04:51:23 pm »

Actually I don't really know the rules around here yet so I didn't want to post a name. I am still trying to figure out her connection. I get the sense she is an amom.

Like Julie said (I think that's you Julie?...HI! ) , it's really amazing how people grab onto exterior stuff as evidence of the rightness of adoption. It is so tiring to be judged all of the time. Constantly actually. We should be this, we should be that....ugh.

My neighbor was telling me yesterday how her husband (adopted) was basically a slave growing up. Then she said "but I guess he should be grateful he didn't have to to grow up with the alternative".  I told her nobody would EVER say that about a biological child. "gee the kid was abused but I guess it could have been worse. He should feel lucky". I think she had a lightbulb moment but who knows. I always feel like I am obligated to set people straight but like you, I am getting really tired of that and sometimes I don't feel like wasting my breath. It's like a constant uphill climb setting the record straight about what adoption is and what it is not.

I think I'll join you in that drink Stewie.

Yes it's me.  Hi Mia!!!  Smiley

Gosh, I have been really bad about keeping up with blogs.  Need to go catch up....
Report Spam   Logged

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Nina
Nina De La Fuente
Privileged
Jr. Member
*

Karma: 11
Offline Offline

Posts: 54



WWW
« Reply #9 on: April 27, 2007, 06:16:03 pm »

ARGH, STEWIE!!!  One problem with such an ABSOLUTE MORONIC comment like THAT is it minimizes and diminishes our very complicated feelings and an entire LIFETIME of experiences in one breathy sentence.  Looking like or looking nothing like your adoptive parent(s) makes no difference.  We are simply not related in the way non-adoptees are related to their parents.  We know it's either coincidental or some social worker knocked her lights out trying to "match."  And what a really weird comment to make.  Personally, it would have left me troubled and gasping!  I really HATE those kinds of comments.  

Even some people who I know who seem to 'get' adoption better than others still say stuff like, "Oh, I always wanted to be adopted.  It's so cool!" and, "I think you're lucky to be chosen!" (by pathological narcissistic a-dad???)

AND MIA.  Or should we just start calling you Trauma Girl???  Oh no!  Yes, your needs and yourself should be sacrificed (as usual) for the greater good of all those relatives.  I'm sorry you had to hear that.  Yuk.  
Report Spam   Logged

AI!  Am I the ONLY Beaner?
SoloZolo
Hero Member
*

Karma: 28
Offline Offline

Posts: 494


Hacking up furballs on Connie Chung & Sharon Stone


WWW
« Reply #10 on: April 27, 2007, 06:19:04 pm »

Quote
Yes, your needs and yourself should be sacrificed (as usual) for the greater good of all those relatives.

*sigh*

As usual. 

We just don't count.  Unless we are babies.  Then BOY do we count (and so does the agency - their money, that is)!
Report Spam   Logged

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Stewie
Pirate Bastard
Administrator
Hero Member
*

Karma: 17
Offline Offline

Posts: 534



« Reply #11 on: April 27, 2007, 07:39:30 pm »

Why on earth would he leap to the conclusion that you wouldn't have any questions about your bio family/being adopted/etc. because you resembled your amom in appearance?   
YES. EXACTLY. Azn

Its these kind of things that make me feel hopeless that ANYONE actually has the capacity to "get" adoption. Here's an 'educated' guy but he thinks because I LOOK so much like my amom I wouldn't have any questions about my origins?Huh?Huh?Huh?

You know, the more I think about it the angrier I get that I didn't get out of my seat and stand up on the conference table there in the library and rip my shirt off to reveal my ARROGANT BASTARD Underoos and zap him with my freeze ray.  Grin Angry

WHEN do I get to STOP being the poster child for miraculous adoption? WHEN???!!!!
Report Spam   Logged
joy
Administrator
Hero Member
*

Karma: 26
Offline Offline

Posts: 497



« Reply #12 on: April 27, 2007, 07:46:04 pm »



You know, the more I think about it the angrier I get that I didn't get out of my seat and stand up on the conference table there in the library and rip my shirt off to reveal my ARROGANT BASTARD Underoos and zap him with my freeze ray.  Grin Angry

WHEN do I get to STOP being the poster child for miraculous adoption? WHEN???!!!!


I think that would have been the only sensible thing to do



 
Report Spam   Logged
SoloZolo
Hero Member
*

Karma: 28
Offline Offline

Posts: 494


Hacking up furballs on Connie Chung & Sharon Stone


WWW
« Reply #13 on: April 27, 2007, 08:11:48 pm »

Quote
...rip my shirt off to reveal my ARROGANT BASTARD Underoos and zap him with my freeze ray.  Grin Angry

OMFG  I LOVE it!!!!!!  And I think Helium should be your side kick .... "Miseryyyyy!!!!!!!!!"
Report Spam   Logged

Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
Mia
Newbie
*

Karma: 5
Offline Offline

Posts: 10


« Reply #14 on: April 27, 2007, 08:45:47 pm »

Stewie you have Arrogant Bastard Underoos?  How cool is that?!?!?!?!   

Nina if I am going to be Trauma Girl (causing trauma the world over by knocking on unsuspecting family's doors on Christmas day...GASP) then I want a pair of those underoos like Stewie has AND a cape! I absolutely refuse to cause trauma without the underoos and the cape!!!!

Seriously though can you imagine how liberating it would feel to actually DO that? Knock on the door on Christmas day in underoos and a cape?!!!!

LUCKY BASTARDS......THE LOT OF US!
 Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley
Report Spam   Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Bookmark this site! | Upgrade This Forum
SMF For Free - Create your own Forum
Powered by SMF | SMF © 2016, Simple Machines
Privacy Policy