Adult Adoptees Advocating for Change
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Can I do this???


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Author Topic: Can I do this???  (Read 610 times)
Michelle
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« Reply #15 on: April 28, 2007, 04:52:40 pm »

Kippa, you're right...there is no one word that effectively desrcibes what a mother, father and family experience that results in a child gong to an orphanange or adoption.

I read that the boy Jolie took was from a mother who had a heroin addiction. But, that wasn't the problem, so says the article, it was that she was pregnant and not married....a complete shame brought on to the family. The mom's dad said there was no way he could let that baby into his home....and the sister said the mother of the boy was a complete wreck after losing him. Yeah, what word is used for all this? Surrender probably fits best as it really is surrendering to all forces more powerful than you. Every child has a story about why sh/he ended up in an orphanage or was adopted....and these stories can be filled with sadness, terror and hopelessness.  Abandoned is a terrible word, actually. If anyone is abandoned in adoption, it's the mother, at some point, somehwere, by someone or many people at different stages of her life.
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Adoption is testimony to what the human psyche can endure...
issycat
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« Reply #16 on: April 28, 2007, 07:37:39 pm »

Wow.  This is really food for thought.  I have to admit, I have been focusing on the word "abandon" since I began reunion.
I've got to think about this.
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SoloZolo
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« Reply #17 on: April 28, 2007, 09:04:06 pm »

Quote
If anyone is abandoned in adoption, it's the mother, at some point, somehwere, by someone or many people at different stages of her life.

I think that's really true. 
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Michelle
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« Reply #18 on: April 29, 2007, 07:28:54 am »

Issycat, what I realized awhile ago was that I was not abandoned by my mother....I was taken from her....she wanted me but others decided she didn't. It was society with their lack of understanding and social conditioning that led me to believe/feel I was abandoned. The governement with it's inhumane laws, the false perceptions, myths and lies that instilled this feeling of abandonment. I remember so often telling people I was adopted, and they would look at me with this, "I"m sorry you were abandoned" look in their eyes. It's all bullshit. Yet, even though I know it's not the truth, it's still one the hardest feelings to understand or let go of.
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Adoption is testimony to what the human psyche can endure...
MindyRambo
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« Reply #19 on: May 01, 2007, 06:27:55 am »




Be careful, too, with the word abandoned. Orphanages and adoption agencies may tell people that a child has been abandoned

Abandoned is not a good word, either; I imagine a mother and/or family being in such a bad state that leaving their child anonymously was what they thought was their only option at that time. We don't know their circumstances and abandoned sounds like the mother just didn't want the child, period, then or ever. Sometimes the father or the mother's parents take the child and leave it at an orphanage, when that's not what the mother wanted. Maybe it's me, but I don't believe that a mother who leaves a child anonymously, does so because she doesn't care....it's done more out of fear and desperation. The system of adoption is so crooked that I think the first story one hears about a child is usually not the truth. We just have to look at adoption in North America to know how corrupt it is and that it's based on lies and myths.

I think a lot about this actually, thanks for writing it Smiley  I agree, and everytime I go to type the word, I don't want to, but can't think of another word that doesn't sound equally as horrible :(

Man someone really doesn't like me!  I noticed that the 1st post I made here, I was already down 3 Karma pts :(

That's terrible, I gave you one to make some back.

And add an emoticon too.

 

Thank you kimkim 
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