Yay!  Look forward to hearing your bit on the show!   

Woo Hoo!!!     Awesome I can't wait to hear it!

Cool!!! Cool enough to raise your karma!

This is very cool, I am excited too, it is fun hunh?


Why can't I make pee jokes?


I can't think of any but I will.

Oh I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!!!!!!
 

 

Now, no jokes about your cats peeing on toasters or radios....

I will be on The Adoption Show (http://www.theadoptionshow.com/) on Mother's Day.  Did a little spiel about reunion and my Mama.  Will be aired on Sunday, Mother's Day.

I think adoption is a form of oppression. When people begin to wake up and see there's another reality or truth about their life expereince, it can become, at first, very liberating, but subsequent feelings that arrive post-waking up can be too much to take on - so they retreat.

If we really look at adoption for what it is: a social experiment gone bad or haywire, we can clearly see how we were the ones who got caught up in this social expereiment. Look at the thousands of adoptees and mothers/fathers who are searching....they are only in the searching stage, but they are waking up - they are questioning what happened to them. In Ontario, there were 150,000 adoptions in I believe four decades - one Canadian search registry has over 100,000 names on it. What does this say? The adoption experiment didn't work.

Adoption is a business, plain and simple. Some of us are seekers of truth by nature; it's easier for us (but at the same time painful) to challenge systems and beliefs. If I weren't adopted, I'd be stomping up and down for some other cause.

Adopters or pre-adopters have one goal in mind - a child to call their own. That hasn't changed and never will. If there were enough white infants available in NA, most would not give a rats ass about kids in orphahanges in developing countries. Does this make them horrible people? No, it doesn't. But it does make them part of the problem and not the solution. We are looking for solutions to adoption pain and trauma - most adopters are not.

One thing that really disturbs me too is how adopters are made out to be perfect parents - they see themselves this way because adoption creates this illusion (well, most people believe they will do the best they can for their kids, but they don't broadcast it around the world). They take good parenting to the extreme. Just like our parents of the BSE, these adopters will also experience divorce, mental health issues, psychological problems, illness, death, financial difficulties; children will be abused psychologically, emotionally, physically, mentally and so on. They are just people who can't have children. How does an adopted person who was abused feel when they see this all over the place? it's confusing as hell.

Some adopters do want to understand, but everytime I "educate" I am once again triggered and reminded of my own adoption suffering. When they challenge or dismiss my words, it's even more triggering. Just having sealed records is a gigantic trigger....a law that says I can't know my own family - and this is promoted and celebrated.

The way adopters ignore the mothes and fathers of the children they adopted because they don't want to share "their" child is also maddening. It's all a reminder of what I lost and have had to fight for with every ounce of my energy to get back. These people don't seem to care....their goal is to have a child who will  love and need them, and if and when that child decides to search for the truth of their existence, these oh, so, understanding adopters will be there to guide them. I question this also. I don't think it will be quite that simple (not all adopters, but many). But it's a good answer when we ask or share our concerns about a child's parents and identity.

I try now to just state what I feel and not attack. Although, attacking is required sometimes - it's part of any social movement, and the way I see it now is that if adopters or adoption fanatics and secrecy lovers don't like what I have to say, then it's their problem, not mine.

Our hubby's seem a lot alike.  Mine doesn't have much time for my bmom, he's pretty sick of her **** with me.  I've never told him that I want to buy her a card, he'd probably think I was  if I did.

Oh I think about it, every year I do.  And I think about getting her birthday cards.  And Christmas cards.  And cards for just about every stupid holiday there is.  But the stupid ass second-guessing adoptee is me always does just that...second guesses.

**** stupid ass, is what I am.    

My husband was pretty shocked when I posed the question about sending the card. 

He's been super supportive through search and reunion. 

He knows my mother has not expressed regret about her decision to relinquish...in fact, thinks it was a great idea...considering I turned out "better" (her word) than her kept kids and that even though she has been welcoming, she's not been terribly interested. 

Suspects I'm doing it to be nice, out of some weird guilt--people pleasing habit.  Which may be sadly true because today when I thought, gee, maybe I should look for a card I really didn't really want to do it. 

Crazily I don't have people tell me I look like someone...I have had two occasions where people have had some very strange conversations with me.

When I worked in a fish and chip shop, someone came in and said 'so you work here as well' etc I just was blank...couldnt recall talking to them before (but knew they came in sometimes).

Then when I was at a local prtrol station late one night, the young guy atetndant said 'I promise I won't tell anyone you were here'. I eventually found out that there was a girl who apparently looked a lot like me who worked at a competitors petrol station down the road (around the corner from the fish and chip shop)

...but it was really confusing at times. I even went in there a few times, but the people at the counter didnt say anything (though maybe they thought their employee was just being rude!)